Engineering An Engineer's Emotions

I used to dream of becoming what every child in my generation wanted to be - to become a doctor, to heal the sick and help the needy.

As a young adult of today, a couple of decades later, I come to think that it was such a noble yearning for a little child. Well yes if we had enough finances then and if my mom and dad were not as old, probably pursuing that childhood dream of mine had been taken into a deeper consideration.

What I have just posted above has nothing to do with my current thoughts actually. It's all about vulnerability.

There are certain circumstances wherein we are required to ignore our vulnerable selves. In my teen years, this is closest to the phrase "becoming numb". If I were an agent of Medicine, I'd be calling it as an emotional anaesthesia. But I am an agent of technological progress so I aptly depict this as a human circuit breaker. Circuit breakers protect equipment from destruction at saturation levels or from unexpected surges and transients. The equipment is our hearts and the electrical disturbances are the emotions that could go as far as beyond our control.

We are not some sort of a non-living thing for me to compare us with just a piece of equipment made by us men. But more often than not, I have this strong need to deprive myself of vulnerability and remain unaffected, otherwise my spirit will die.